
Close
So close
Jet, I want you, to be closer still
and will, you remain so still
to allow my changing heart
to calm, to move apart
from fear,
and love
and belong
and in this mess
I want you…
Closer.

Close
So close
Jet, I want you, to be closer still
and will, you remain so still
to allow my changing heart
to calm, to move apart
from fear,
and love
and belong
and in this mess
I want you…
Closer.

Hallow howl
From the depths of the soul
Like a empty bowl
I want, I need, to be whole
Consuming, improving
All so alluring
But when the high fades away
Not even a speck of dust remained.

Whats the look in his eyes.
Tears apart each and every disguise.
Sets a shiver through the bones
No more, I want to be alone.
Is he really looking at me?
Is there anything else to see?
So weak, so strong,
I’ve waited for him, all along.

Warm breeze flowing through the streets,
all stores filled with shining light.
Intoxicated youth sings latest beats,
aware of the arrival of the night.
Drunken tourist, oh so loudly screams.
Dancing along with his group of friends.
Warm memories behind he leaves,
to keep warm when summer the ends.

Honey, how do I look?
This looks shii…
What?
Confusion
Sadness
This terrible drop.
I beg a pardon
For my foolish words.
Lazy I have been,
This beauty just so many times I have seen.
First, let me take a proper look.
My heart just shook.
This beauty
Body
Your eyes
Lips
And hips
Hidden, under clothing and butt,
I prefer you butt naked.
Slightly shaken.
And completely awaken.

Wind going through dried winter leaves
Dry steps vanish
Sun in branches weaves
So grand and lavish
And a jogger
Focus on rhythm and ground
just bit bothered
With bright sun around
Still stops,
Blank mind, grasping for air
And spots
Majestic everyday flair

Lonely shadows
Empty yard
Water, sparking with moon
And one lone leaf
Flying far
Dancing with silent tune

Stopped fighting.
Enlightening.
And seriously frightening.
But no grudges were hold,
stupid and bold,
to wield truth,
throughout the youth.
Questioning suspecting rejecting.
But universe stood.
Taught and understood.
To trust, be ready
and steady and go.

Long gone past,
is still in my grasp.
It’s not the last, time.
I review it, Renew it.
I blew it.
I scratch my wound,
pitifully doomed.
Memory loomed and assumed,
that I won’t be forgiven.
Don’t I want to be forgiven?
And thus, I shiver,
poisoning my liver
drowning in a river,
to satisfy internal judge,
its eternal grudge.
It won’t budge.
Even after thousandth time.
Punishing self for forgotten crime.
Haven’t quenched its thirst for pain.

We live in night.
Where unexpected gives a fright.
Domesticated part of wild,
seems mild.
Abiding by the rules,
more like clues from different views,
to confuse, this tranquil illusion,
orderly world delusion
with ever changing reality
switch from fixed mentality
and grow.
But why I have to grow?
I am doing well right now.
Do you think that the guilt will pass with time?
Or magical motivation will arise?
Great surprise in the mist of gradual demise.
Underneath the heap of lies,
I’ll only find desperate cries.
Sure, I can avoid my rite of passage.
To idols send a message.
That I’ll stay at home, alone, afraid.
Security over-weighed, fulfilling life.
Do I want to live in regret, slowly forget,
that I was too afraid to put a bet, on myself?
No no no, I better die right now.
Even when the chance of success is low.
I vow, that starting from now.
I trust that there is a chance to succeed.
Trust that I can acquire skills I need.
I am enough to learn and improve,
In a groove make a move.
Overcome adversity,
Increase diversity.
Transcend myself in unknown
and all external motivators,
influators, mediators,
will disintegrate.
And thus, I adapt.
So, all good lies within unknown.
Stepped forward but ground did not hold.
Was I fool to be this bold?
To face unknown.
Am I here to die or grow?
The answer, must be shown.
Sweat dripping,
Boot flipping, in the air,
and despair of demons near,
I’m too aware.
Mind says, you must run away,
not today, please obey.
I step forward, legs shaking.
Past structures are breaking.
Slowly awaking in the battleground.
After long round, I found,
indeed, I am enough.
It’s not that bad,
overwhelmingly glad,
I have made safe unknown known.
Like an adventurer.
Who went into darkness,
and brought back light.
Witnessed mergence of wrong and right.
And I caught a glimpse,
decided that I will venture in,
Betting all to my win.
Fear collapsed, and left is flow.
In a fierce fight forward, I go,
demon escaping from my blow,
deceiving and faking,
reality shaking,
good they’re breaking,
assuming confusing,
and awaking,
and paradigm Changed.
Fight seemed like an elegant dance,
graceful trance,
with synchronous action,
without a fraction for delay,
and thus we sway.
Forgotten day,
And time,
And space,
Own face.
Increasing pace.
I flip and demons split.
Duality ripped.
Balance tipped.
And left is truth.
Invigoratingly loving youth,
transforming to whole universe,
I was immersed.
In this loving abundant radiance,
saw, it’s me, how can it be?
No longer the same,
radiance did fade,
and I had made impossible possible,
for self and others.
For all my brothers.
The glow in heart remained,
and reminded,
that fears were blinded.
Horizon widened,
with a playful grin
I went all in.
Looking back,
chance of winning was slim,
future grim, this irrational whim,
made me grow, in unknown.
Now near the pockets of fear
Doubt agony and despair,
showing that I am close,
Where I once chose an alternative,
Chose to fully live.
But it still,
is Night.