Close
So close
Jet, I want you, to be closer still
and will, you remain so still
to allow my changing heart
to calm, to move apart
from fear,
and love
and belong
and in this mess
I want you…
Closer.
Close
Poem: Contemplation
Small rocks, rolling away
From the path, cannot sway
With inner light
And sparkle in the eyes
Gives rise
To lies
Lies that this never ends
need to make amends
accept the temporary
isn’t it arbitrary?
When all dissolves
And evolves
Continuously revolves
Creates meaningless desperation
Souls starvation
Souls deep desire
To break free and light a fire
From the spark
inner spark
That glitters in the eyes
gives rise
To creativity
meaningless activity
Why?
It all crumbles to dust
Everything will rust
Engines will bust
Like a gust
Everything perishes
temporarily flourishes
And fades away
Like sunsets last ray
Like last water drop after heavy rain
can’t hold
maintain
This fleeting sound
That quietly echoes
And signals the change
Isn’t it strange
passing moment
Never to be found again
Echoes in the mind
Again, rewind
But what’s the cost
Something was lost
First sun ray behind the cloud
Birds singing loud
Or the peace,
that followed the echo
All because the need to keep
Moments, to gather a heap
Precious moments aren’t cheap
Drowning in the past so deep
Can’t escape, can’t make the leap
From its grasp
Everything disappears so fast
Why?
Why it cannot last
End creates space for new
Who knew
To create we need to destroy
Know sadness to experience joy
Even death, agony, and rotten flesh
Are important in life, as happiness and things that are fresh
it’s all important, just as it is
So mind, please
Please,
Please let go
Go with the flow
And experience it all
Both rise and the fall
Love sorrow
it has seeds for happiness tomorrow
love fear
fully love what’s dear
yes, it might end
so, better amend
let loose, let it all free
some will stay, you’ll see
if it goes, goes bad, ends, or fails
it’s all best for future ventures sails
Say to the face in the mirror
To this pale, sweaty, screaming thing
Say, let it all go!!!!
Aahhhh!!
Noooo!!!
can’t, It’s me
Can’t you see
It’s important
It.s all me
Like a hoarder
Clinging to the remnants of the past
Scary world, it’s so vast
And I, to tiny so minuscule
Every memory is a tool
I’m not a fool
need to fight the world so cruel
Why?
Cause I need to predict
Understand, energy they emit
To defend
pretend
Why?
Unknown, the future
Ultimately what is good or bad
Ones happiness might make else sad
And even more, how to defend
By being fake, to reach some end
is there really a true best way?
Think before, what to say
Rather than having faith and trust
That all is fine and have a blast
Enjoy what’s coming ahead
Cause in the next moment we might be dead
Rainy day
Mom, mom, let’s go outside.
Darling, it is raining you know.
Yes, quickly, before it stops,
In rain lets walk to my favourite spots.
Ohh, well, let’s go.
Mood was anyway its absolute low.
And now, he’s running and dancing,
At her mom he’s glancing.
Muddy road made walking hard
she didn’t let down her presence or guard
But, foot slipped, boot flipped,
body tipped and hand gripped empty air.
With magnificent flare,
she fell, with panicy yell.
And splash and smash.
And rapturous laughter,
over spiritless mind,
Like a sound divine,
made it fine,
broke apart the baseline.
Walking back, both covered with mud.
Kid running and jumping, gleaming so glad.
He jumped into puddle next to his mom.
Splash, but damage was already done.
Dry clothes were already gone.
So, she jumped into puddle splashing them both,
and found it funny, though nose was runny,
and laughter erupted again in rain,
both laughing and running,
this view was stunning
and free.
He hugged mom’s knee,
And wished forever there could be.
Party
Party,
But party alone,
is not much to party about.
Just mere shout,
helping friend along.
Making perfect this moment, song.
We all improve and sometimes we are wrong,
but humanity will prolong.
And like that, we keep on climbing.
Living hard, hearts are smiling.
We all deserve gratitude and love.
And even greatest heights
that reached together
are made so much better.
And, it makes me want to party.
But party alone,
is not much to party about.
Just mere shout,
helping friend along.
Making perfect this moment, song.
We all improve and sometimes we are wrong,
but humanity will prolong.
And like that, we keep on climbing.
Living hard, hearts are smiling.
We all deserve gratitude and love.
And even greatest heights
that reached together
are made so much better.
And, it makes me want to party.
Friend
Friend, feeling crippling fear.
Avoiding end that’s near.
Left hundred or just one year.
Or even less, what a mess.
Friend, you are stressed.
You have done good job,
excellent job,
and given everything, away.
Trust, friends, laughter and love.
Sacrificed yourself to keep me safe.
You beat me to the ground,
Screamed so loud.
Tears falling, but heart still loving.
So that I’d be prepared?
So that I’d be feared?
So that nothing, in this cruel world could hurt me!
You taught about society,
to feel separation in variety.
But my ego, my friend.
let this way of life end.
Higher, we aim to reach.
A gap to goals, we need to breach.
But, is it necessarily better?
We like sunny but also need rainy weather.
Our eyes glaze in envy, seeing other,
envious of our own sister brother.
And underlying cause, our internal flaws.
We think that we are not enough.
Need to be strong, need to be tough.
But, if I’d be the prettiest, strongest, smartest.
Everyone else below, nowhere to thrive,
all of my goals I’ve reached, I’ve arrived
Is this what I want to see
What sick fucker I have to be.
So, ego my friend.
Let’s discover the world, unseen and new.
Climb a mountain, enjoy a view.
And know, I’ve grown.
So far the way, you have shown.
Now, I want to fall and rise.
Get hurt and still seek the prize.
To be wise, take off mask and disguise,
and let myself be seen.
When I am in between,
decisions, options, roads and ways.
Even in despair, I want to choose.
Take responsibility when I lose.
Receive bad, and good news.
Gather clues, notice hues,
in monotone everyday.
And seek my own true way.
And what you have to say, I’ll listen,
but final decision is mine,
even when I have crossed the line.
Have to listen complaints and whine.
I’ll say, I chose it,
Even if it hurts a bit, or a lot,
I did my best, gave it all I got.
Fall
Looking down, man, are you sure?
Take your time and think some more.
Do you really want to take the leap?
You’d surely die, only might, reach the peak.
Yes, I said, with a smile.
And jumped.
jumped down, jumped into time.
I was, the bottle of wine.
I was the ugly, dirty look in father’s eyes,
And mothers desire, it was me, in disguise.
I chose to live,
It brought me here.
I was born helpless, I don’t care.
What, a failure? So I try once more.
I kept failing,
but deep in my core
I knew, it could be done.
Rising up, determined,
gleaming with fun
Taking steps one-by -one
Until, I was able to run.
And father laughed,
that’s my little son.
Me, wind
If I were a wind, I’d blow,
and fly,both high and low.
I would destroy, just to see,
How humongous, power can be.
But, after a test or two,
Causing death and despair,
Of my power, I’d be aware.
But,
can I make one flower petal move?
Or am I here, just for doom?
I’d whirl around,
Blow through the trees,
Gently, to not rip the leaves
The shashling sound so, so enormous,
is just gentle enough
to make leaves whirl around,
rising all, off the ground,
but now, quiet and slow,
still forward I’d go,
Left only a tiny gust
to lift a droplet of dust
to a bead of dew
and make it lightly,
wiggle,
twiggle,
Drop
Tea
I have been waiting for you.
And now you are here,
my heart says: this is it.
I am still hesitating a bit.
Maybe,
you just have some kind of a magical allure,
bewitching me
to see,
something, unreal.
Even if it’s all delusion,
I won’t live in fear
Who you are, I need to hear.
What gets you to going?
Do you like when it’s snowing?
And,
Would you like to come and see?
What’s your, favourite tea?
Sipping tea and chatting,
until moon rises high,
breaking open the shell of shy,
just smoke left form candle light
and you know it’s right.
You feel like…
You are completely,
utterly,
accepted.
And you are.
Intoxicating flavour
Sparking hidden desire
lighting senses on fire
in rising heat
Smell so sweet
this midnight treat
makes life complete,
You rise from your seat
And see,
this is an ordinary tea.
Collapses inner deceit.
Heart like drumbeat
and from defeat,
though discrete,
You feel,
Loved.
Control
Tiger in me,
So soft, kind and cuddly,
walks around,
making no sound.
Improving skills,
Paying bills,
Why?
lost in doubt.
Wanting to shout.
Its purpose.
But nothing comes out.
Not even snout.
Self is lost.
Aim is lost.
Unknowingly brainwashed.
long given control,
Face drooling, playing a role,
Left only a tiny spark, from the whole.
From the tiger, there is left,
a well-trained kitten,
But it awoke from illusion.
Illusion of golden average,
To use comparison as leverage,
Overwhelmed by anxiety,
No need for variety.
But what about my dreams?
It’s all been beaten down
You dreamer, you clown.
To change,
To be heard,
And as I am following the herd,
constant echoes that new is baaaad,
are you maaad,
all rushing together,
who knows where?
I won’t play this game.
I’ll be a freak!
To reach the peak.
I’ll take control.
I want it all.
Obsession to live,
Share and give,
is waking me up,
form delusion,
and conclusion,
is to grow and give.
it has big allure.
accept pain, endure.
stand for my dreams,
even if it leads,
to devastation.
I would happily roar
and soar,
to unseen heights,
with obsessive action,
not giving a fraction,
of time
to doubt
and shout,
smiling ear-to-ear,
ridding myself of fear.
Shouting,
from the top of my lungs:
Tiger, in me, is alive,
and I, am, alive!
Burn
[I’m burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away,
and I ]*(Loop)
am burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away
as fuel,
nutrition,
for my wholehearted ambition,
to nourish us all.
Poems 