Circular poem:Hero’s Journey

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We live in night.
Where unexpected gives a fright.
Domesticated part of wild,
seems mild.
Abiding by the rules,
more like clues from different views,
to confuse, this tranquil illusion,
orderly world delusion
with ever changing reality
switch from fixed mentality
and grow.
But why I have to grow?
I am doing well right now.
Do you think that the guilt will pass with time?
Or magical motivation will arise?
Great surprise in the mist of gradual demise.
Underneath the heap of lies,
I’ll only find desperate cries.

Sure, I can avoid my rite of passage.
To idols send a message.
That I’ll stay at home, alone, afraid.
Security over-weighed, fulfilling life.
Do I want to live in regret, slowly forget,
that I was too afraid to put a bet, on myself?

No no no, I better die right now.
Even when the chance of success is low.
I vow, that starting from now.
I trust that there is a chance to succeed.
Trust that I can acquire skills I need.
I am enough to learn and improve,
In a groove make a move.
Overcome adversity,
Increase diversity.
Transcend myself in unknown
and all external motivators,
influators, mediators,
will disintegrate.
And thus, I adapt.

So, all good lies within unknown.
Stepped forward but ground did not hold.
Was I fool to be this bold?
To face unknown.
Am I here to die or grow?
The answer, must be shown.

Sweat dripping,
Boot flipping, in the air,
and despair of demons near,
I’m too aware.
Mind says, you must run away,
not today, please obey.

I step forward, legs shaking.
Past structures are breaking.
Slowly awaking in the battleground.
After long round, I found,
indeed, I am enough.
It’s not that bad,
overwhelmingly glad,
I have made safe unknown known.

Like an adventurer.
Who went into darkness,
and brought back light.
Witnessed mergence of wrong and right.
And I caught a glimpse,
decided that I will venture in,
Betting all to my win.

Fear collapsed, and left is flow.
In a fierce fight forward, I go,
demon escaping from my blow,
deceiving and faking,
reality shaking,
good they’re breaking,
assuming confusing,
and awaking,
and paradigm Changed.

Fight seemed like an elegant dance,
graceful trance,
with synchronous action,
without a fraction for delay,
and thus we sway.
Forgotten day,
And time,
And space,
Own face.
Increasing pace.
I flip and demons split.
Duality ripped.
Balance tipped.
And left is truth.
Invigoratingly loving youth,
transforming to whole universe,
I was immersed.
In this loving abundant radiance,
saw, it’s me, how can it be?

No longer the same,
radiance did fade,
and I had made impossible possible,
for self and others.
For all my brothers.
The glow in heart remained,
and reminded,
that fears were blinded.
Horizon widened,
with a playful grin
I went all in.

Looking back,
chance of winning was slim,
future grim, this irrational whim,
made me grow, in unknown.
Now near the pockets of fear
Doubt agony and despair,
showing that I am close,
Where I once chose an alternative,
Chose to fully live.
But it still,
is Night.

November 23, 2018 0

Poem: Contemplation

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Small rocks, rolling away
From the path, cannot sway
With inner light
And sparkle in the eyes
Gives rise
To lies

Lies that this never ends
need to make amends
accept the temporary
isn’t it arbitrary?
When all dissolves
And evolves
Continuously revolves
Creates meaningless desperation
Souls starvation
Souls deep desire
To break free and light a fire
From the spark
inner spark
That glitters in the eyes
gives rise
To creativity
meaningless activity
Why?
It all crumbles to dust
Everything will rust
Engines will bust
Like a gust
Everything perishes
temporarily flourishes
And fades away
Like sunsets last ray
Like last water drop after heavy rain
can’t hold
maintain
This fleeting sound
That quietly echoes
And signals the change
Isn’t it strange
passing moment
Never to be found again
Echoes in the mind
Again, rewind
But what’s the cost
Something was lost
First sun ray behind the cloud
Birds singing loud
Or the peace,
that followed the echo

All because the need to keep
Moments, to gather a heap
Precious moments aren’t cheap
Drowning in the past so deep
Can’t escape, can’t make the leap
From its grasp
Everything disappears so fast
Why?
Why it cannot last
End creates space for new
Who knew

To create we need to destroy
Know sadness to experience joy
Even death, agony, and rotten flesh
Are important in life, as happiness and things that are fresh
it’s all important, just as it is
So mind, please
Please,
Please let go
Go with the flow
And experience it all
Both rise and the fall
Love sorrow
it has seeds for happiness tomorrow
love fear
fully love what’s dear
yes, it might end
so, better amend
let loose, let it all free
some will stay, you’ll see
if it goes, goes bad, ends, or fails
it’s all best for future ventures sails
Say to the face in the mirror
To this pale, sweaty, screaming thing
Say, let it all go!!!!
Aahhhh!!
Noooo!!!
can’t, It’s me
Can’t you see
It’s important
It.s all me
Like a hoarder
Clinging to the remnants of the past
Scary world, it’s so vast
And I, to tiny so minuscule
Every memory is a tool
I’m not a fool
need to fight the world so cruel
Why?
Cause I need to predict
Understand, energy they emit
To defend
pretend
Why?
Unknown, the future
Ultimately what is good or bad
Ones happiness might make else sad
And even more, how to defend
By being fake, to reach some end
is there really a true best way?
Think before, what to say
Rather than having faith and trust
That all is fine and have a blast
Enjoy what’s coming ahead
Cause in the next moment we might be dead

November 21, 2018 0

Rainy day

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Mom, mom, let’s go outside.
Darling, it is raining you know.
Yes, quickly, before it stops,
In rain lets walk to my favourite spots.

Ohh, well, let’s go.
Mood was anyway its absolute low.
And now, he’s running and dancing,
At her mom he’s glancing.
Muddy road made walking hard
she didn’t let down her presence or guard

But, foot slipped, boot flipped,
body tipped and hand gripped empty air.
With magnificent flare,
she fell, with panicy yell.
And splash and smash.
And rapturous laughter,
over spiritless mind,
Like a sound divine,
made it fine,
broke apart the baseline.

Walking back, both covered with mud.
Kid running and jumping, gleaming so glad.
He jumped into puddle next to his mom.
Splash, but damage was already done.
Dry clothes were already gone.
So, she jumped into puddle splashing them both,
and found it funny, though nose was runny,
and laughter erupted again in rain,
both laughing and running,
this view was stunning
and free.
He hugged mom’s knee,
And wished forever there could be.

November 16, 2018 0

Growth

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I’ve learned and earned,
the right to live, share and give,
and, if it leads to my fall,
I’ll take it all,
and make it, something beautiful.
Like a fool I thrive for growth.
Loosening the rigid perceptions,
following affections,
Seeing gifts in my imperfections.

Looking for more.
Changing my lore.
Choosing action when unsure.
Walking away from certainty’s lure,
and, when I have to endure,
I cherish and relish unforgiving freedom,
Knowing, that I can take it,
mould it and fold it,
accept what I’ve been given,
Intrinsically driven.
I take and make misfortune,
to obey and teach,
like a leach I devour,
Essence of power,
and now,
it is me.

I’ve learned,
and earned the right to live,
share and give.
And, if it leads to my fall,
I’ll take it all,
and make it, something beautiful.
Like a fool I thrive for growth
Loosening the rigid perceptions,
following affections,
Seeing gifts in my imperfections.

November 12, 2018 0

Experiment with truth

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When forgotten is the unity.
Left is mutiny and dictatorship of mind.
Thinking that I am in control,
and majority’s poll, agreed
and believed, but then I sat down
Determined, to stay in place.
I lost all my face, such disgrace.
I can’t sit in peace, but at least,
I sat, on the mat, for a while.
Thinking of tumours benign,
and wine, minds whine.

After long, five minutes,
I rose, scratched my nose,
and thought, against whom I fought?
Resistance is all for naught.
Maybe, just maybe,
there’s a way without internal resistance?
Behind wind can be assistance.
But is it compatible with change?
Or will I be stuck, in a strange, habitual, misery.

November 9, 2018 0

Welcome to wilderness

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[I was born in pain.
Just follow, stay sane.
Learned rules,
in schools,
But there were so many fools
just being tools
and it tore me away.
Still I stayed.
And obeyed.
And lion came.
I felt shame.
Others pain.
Was it all in vain.
All slain.
And lion came,
to me.
Too close to see
and said,
What the fuck brother,
we have a same mother
and you’re
Cowering in fear.
I changed.
Took responsibility.
For my ability,
capability
and said,
Thank you.
I was wrong]*(repeat loop)

But, I was born in pain
Just follow, stay sane.
Learned rules,
in schools,
But there were so many fools
just being tools
and it tore me away.
Still I stayed.
And obeyed.
And lion came.
I felt shame.
Others pain.
Was it all in vain.
All slain.
And lion came,
to me.
Too close to see
and said,
What the fuck brother,
we have a same mother
and you’re
Cowering in fear.
I changed.
Took responsibility.
For my ability,
capability,
and said,
Thank you.

November 2, 2018 1

Sounds of divine mind

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Every day I sing a dragon repelling song.
It’s super effective, I’m alive after so long.
Certain misery over chance of success.
When I want to compliment a pretty dress,
with dying friend, wanna play some chess
and glancing at an appealing stranger,
mind lights up with sense of danger.
Retreats, and chooses certain misery.
when challengers flight went wrong,
people were whistling dragon repelling song,
thinking that in misery you cannot go wrong.

What we say to life? Not Today!
Things might not go in desired way.
And that’s why I choose,
Certain misery, and lose.

October 29, 2018 0

Control

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Tiger in me,
So soft, kind and cuddly,
walks around,
making no sound.
Improving skills,
Paying bills,
Why?
lost in doubt.
Wanting to shout.
Its purpose.
But nothing comes out.
Not even snout.
Self is lost.
Aim is lost.
Unknowingly brainwashed.
long given control,
Face drooling, playing a role,
Left only a tiny spark, from the whole.
From the tiger, there is left,
a well-trained kitten,
But it awoke from illusion.
Illusion of golden average,
To use comparison as leverage,
Overwhelmed by anxiety,
No need for variety.
But what about my dreams?
It’s all been beaten down
You dreamer, you clown.
To change,
To be heard,
And as I am following the herd,
constant echoes that new is baaaad,
are you maaad,
all rushing together,
who knows where?

I won’t play this game.
I’ll be a freak!
To reach the peak.
I’ll take control.
I want it all.
Obsession to live,
Share and give,
is waking me up,
form delusion,
and conclusion,
is to grow and give.
it has big allure.
accept pain, endure.
stand for my dreams,
even if it leads,
to devastation.
I would happily roar
and soar,
to unseen heights,
with obsessive action,
not giving a fraction,
of time
to doubt
and shout,
smiling ear-to-ear,
ridding myself of fear.
Shouting,
from the top of my lungs:
Tiger, in me, is alive,
and I, am, alive!

October 20, 2018 0

Burn

fire

[I’m burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away,
and I ]*(Loop)

am burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away
as fuel,
nutrition,
for my wholehearted ambition,
to nourish us all.

October 19, 2018 0

Road

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For greed or need,
following money’s lead.
But, the result is the same,
reduced to a slave,
or a docile little pet.
And, what I get?

Still, I walk on the hell’s road,
carrying its load,
and to self I vowed,
that, soon I’ll walk away,
yeah, that’s what I said.
Now, in the brink of collapse,
too tired look up and see
where I am going,
but the guideposts were showing
and devil was vowing
that better future lies straight ahead.
Just follow the horde,
that almighty lord,
they had all given their word.

Shocked, by a gilt of fear,
I’ve already given away what’s dear,
this was my ideal, in the past,
it did not last.
So tired, without any will to act,
I have already made a pact.

So, I walk on hell’s road,
carrying its load,
as a zombie, a walking corps,
following light on a devil’s torch,
a thoughtless slave
cannot be saved
if I am afraid.

Sweet familiar suffering,
and habit is buffering,
the need to learn and improve,
can I still choose
new direction and move,
higher, but downhill road is so much wider,
and unknown is filled with danger,
to my friends I might become a stranger.
As a dull minded corpse,
things are only getting worse.
When I live in the fear of death,
my soul has taken, its very last breath.