Darkness

milky-way-2695569_1920

Darkness,
is sipping me.
Like a cup of tea.
Left, less and less,
but somehow
I feel blessed,
as if all this were a test,
A Grand joke,
as it pokes,
my beliefs away.
Nothing left to say,
Or think.
Eyes, blink blink.
Occasional wink.
Who knows,
where road leads,
what kind of seeds
fulfilling deeds
life brings forth.
Meanwhile,
Darkness,
is sipping me
and I’m slowly fading
And maybe
I’ll die.
Still no need for goodbye.
Cause It’s drinking only lies
And why’s.
Explanations.
Expectations.
And soon,
there will be left, only,
Truth.
When wall of separations,
Falls,
I will finally see
That I am the
darkness
Sipping me

This poem has 3 loops.

October 26, 2018 0

Tea

tea-2906167_1920

I have been waiting for you.
And now you are here,
my heart says: this is it.
I am still hesitating a bit.
Maybe,
you just have some kind of a magical allure,
bewitching me
to see,
something, unreal.
Even if it’s all delusion,
I won’t live in fear
Who you are, I need to hear.
What gets you to going?
Do you like when it’s snowing?
And,
Would you like to come and see?
What’s your, favourite tea?

Sipping tea and chatting,
until moon rises high,
breaking open the shell of shy,
just smoke left form candle light
and you know it’s right.
You feel like…
You are completely,
utterly,
accepted.
And you are.
Intoxicating flavour
Sparking hidden desire
lighting senses on fire
in rising heat
Smell so sweet
this midnight treat
makes life complete,
You rise from your seat
And see,
this is an ordinary tea.
Collapses inner deceit.
Heart like drumbeat
and from defeat,
though discrete,
You feel,
Loved.

October 22, 2018 0

Control

tiger-2320819_1920

Tiger in me,
So soft, kind and cuddly,
walks around,
making no sound.
Improving skills,
Paying bills,
Why?
lost in doubt.
Wanting to shout.
Its purpose.
But nothing comes out.
Not even snout.
Self is lost.
Aim is lost.
Unknowingly brainwashed.
long given control,
Face drooling, playing a role,
Left only a tiny spark, from the whole.
From the tiger, there is left,
a well-trained kitten,
But it awoke from illusion.
Illusion of golden average,
To use comparison as leverage,
Overwhelmed by anxiety,
No need for variety.
But what about my dreams?
It’s all been beaten down
You dreamer, you clown.
To change,
To be heard,
And as I am following the herd,
constant echoes that new is baaaad,
are you maaad,
all rushing together,
who knows where?

I won’t play this game.
I’ll be a freak!
To reach the peak.
I’ll take control.
I want it all.
Obsession to live,
Share and give,
is waking me up,
form delusion,
and conclusion,
is to grow and give.
it has big allure.
accept pain, endure.
stand for my dreams,
even if it leads,
to devastation.
I would happily roar
and soar,
to unseen heights,
with obsessive action,
not giving a fraction,
of time
to doubt
and shout,
smiling ear-to-ear,
ridding myself of fear.
Shouting,
from the top of my lungs:
Tiger, in me, is alive,
and I, am, alive!

October 20, 2018 0

Burn

fire

[I’m burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away,
and I ]*(Loop)

am burning away in fire.
I want that flame to reach higher.
Reborn, as flames fade,
world stayed the same.
So I set my world ablaze.
To burn it down.
Burn all old, or new,
to myself I need to be true,
it will remain only if it’s truth,
and,
if it can stand the heat.
The blaze is far from its peak.
But my beautiful sculpted feathers?
Smouldering doubt,
I give it my fiercest heat
to forge the truth
and though pretty,
my past illusions
worldly delusions
and false conclusions
shall all,
burn away
as fuel,
nutrition,
for my wholehearted ambition,
to nourish us all.

October 19, 2018 0

Later

cat-1351612_1920

New day.
And what I say.
Hmm, not today.
I chose delay.
Old habits got their way.
Devastated, in bed I lay.
Inaction,
destroying satisfaction,
living a fraction
of what could be.
But I do not see,
an alternative.
World seems affirmative,
to my inability,
mere liability.
Maybe psychiatry,
can lead me from depths of fear.
To step up, with next gear,
as life really is, so dear,
paralysed, cannot go near.
Anxiety grows
as the time flows
obligations in rows
and past clearly shows
that I am utter mess,
and as I guessed,
there is so much to do.
Still, exhaustion fills
and kills,
all remnants of motivation.
Now, I sit in agitation,
sad repeating revelation,
but day brings reactive panic
it’s borderline manic.
In a moment of contemplation
I wondered,
with internal hunger:
Can it change?
Can I change?
And from the depths of emptiness,
sounds,
yes.
Haah, what?
Yes?
How?
And then friend comes.
Makes me laugh.
Momentarily happy.
And the seed of action
with great satisfaction,
restores forgotten order,
reverses hotter colder,
reverses cause reaction,
reverses feeling action.
Rises control and satisfaction.
Realise that feelings are results,
and I wait them to cause or change,
then I pause.
So strange.
That I was waiting for a fear to push me forward.
Am I really such a coward?
then I devoured
and it powered
bias toward action.
Intrinsic attraction,
to create feelings,
finish dealings,
as I can run away, so stressed,
I confessed
that stress,
encouraged me to avoid,
both important and inescapable.
But am I able,
to overcome instinct and thrive,
rather than just escape and survive?

October 19, 2018 3

Change

grass-1209945_1920

Tomorrow, I’ll do it, Dead
Later, I’ll do it, Dead
Do I want to be dead, till I act?
As a matter of fact
Like a devilish pact
My own face I have smacked.
The procrastination
Considerate moderation
For today
I’ll do everyday
Except, today
Ohh Yes, tomorrow I’ll change
While waiting for a
Meaning of life
But get only
Old habitual responses
Same consequences
life passes by
and why
Why not act today
Why not do it, now
We are already in doing
Stuck in an action
And what’s left is a choice
Of direction and speed
And matters, every little deed
Every action can nourish the seed
and we can to take the lead
but we can also, wait for tomorrow
It might not arrive
Taking granted that we’ll be alive
Still we have a choice right now
How
We want to sculpt our life
With decisions of change
And so, rearrange
Potential future
And nurture
Life
wholeheartedly